The initial stage in the life of a butterfly is the egg. For me, the egg planted in me was so small, I did not notice the tiny changes happening in my life. But over the past few years, as I have hatched into a caterpillar and began to grow, I felt myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially changing. The things I once enjoyed have become bothersome and too much work to find pleasure in doing. Some people I once adored, I now cannot understand for the life of me why I have maintained the relationships with them for so long. I have literally begun to notice differences in things as small as the tiny beauty marks on my body, to the small lines that form around my eyes when I can manage a smile. My hair has begun to redden in some areas and grey in others. I don’t feel older as one might assume, I simply feel… different. What is happening to me? I have asked myself this on more occasions than one. Then the voice within answered with simplicity. You are CHANGING.
I have decided to examine the many years of my life to try to place a time marker on the exact event that caused this metamorphosis to begin. Was it being a teenaged mom? Was it the unplanned child in a marriage that was already going bad? Was it the devastating ending of that marriage less than six months after having the child? Was it the beginning of a new relationship with the younger man? Was it the death of my father? I could go on and on with ideas of why. But ultimately, no one of these things could account for the sudden onset of the “Who the hell am I and what am I doing here?” feeling that swept over me one warm Spring afternoon. Now that much I can tell you…I know exactly when I noticed that the change had begun. I just don’t know why now when my life seemingly finally makes sense.
I will begin examining the people, places, and things that made me the person I have come to know. Not much about me has changed drastically in my life. No matter how drastic the events leading up to the milestone memories may have been, I have remained the same. Or, so I thought. I have made it my personal goal to be a good person. On repeat in my spirit, “No matter what happens to you, or around you, be a good person.” I have the belief that if you are a good person, with good intentions, you will have good karma seeking to repay you. So, I invite you to come along with me as I journey through this metamorphosis. At the end, it is my hope that my experiences and lessons learned will help you believe in the power of tiny changes that can help you to become the person you wish to be. I want you to believe that you can do it! I want you to say, “I know that I can because I watched as She Became a Butterfly.”
Happy reading and please feel free to comment.
Teliah Octavia 